The ramblings of a bored person

After a frustrating start with the health care agency that is following me, I can say that I'm excited to have the therapist I have.  It's a man, which was unexpected, and he looks like Jesus.  I think he's going to be great.  2 more weeks and I 'll have my one month check-up.  I'm excited to get into the hard part of this recovery, walking.  I just can't wait!  Before all this mess happened, I was always tired, always hurting.  I'd come straight home from work and go to bed because I'd be in so much pain.  Climbing the stairs to take a shower was the hardest part of my day.  The more pain meds I took the more tired I became.  Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle that never really ends.  Even though I know that once I go back to work that cycle will start all over again, I still look forward to walking again.  At least there won't be any hip pain.  It's actually my ankles that pose the biggest problem.  You don't hear too much about ankle replacements and I'm too young for it I'm told.  My left elbow no longer moves and my left shoulder has limited movement.  My left arm doesn't do much so I'm down to one "good" arm and thankfully I'm right handed.  However, my right shoulder is going bad and my right elbow is going downhill, too.  Now once all this hip nonsense is dealt with I need to decide what to do next.  Elbow replacements?  Shoulder replacements?  Which ones first and when?  Don't worry, I plan on waiting as long as I possibly can before going into another surgery.  I hope I don't wait too long because I'm afraid that's what got me into this mess with my hip.  I'm not even done with this recovery and I'm already thinking about the next surgery.  I know surgeries are never easy or fun.  But I always look forward to the recovery.  Better motion and less/no pain afterwards.  If I could have my shoulders and elbows replaced, I would be able to do so many more things minus the pain and limitations.  I look forward to that someday.  I hate having to ask people for help.  I strive to be as independent as possible.  When I'm not able to do something, I become very frustrated with myself.  Even if all my joints were replaced at some point in my life, I would still have limitations and not be completely independent.  But I would be so happy.  I'm so thankful to have family and friends that are so great.  If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be as independent as I am.  They help me when I need it and push me to do things when I think I can't. That's what family is for right?  Unconditional love and a good kick in the ass when needed.

On the road to recovery!

I FINALLY got my hip replacement!  I was so nervous about the surgery. The surgery went well.  Intubating(putting in the breathing tube) me did not go well.  I guess it took an hour and twenty minutes to get the tube in because I can't move my head that well.  I guess I was almost put in the ICU because my throat started to swell.  Thankfully everything worked out in the end.  I was told to expect a sore throat and tenderness in my mouth and nose.  I told them that in addition to those issues, I couldn't feel part of my tongue.  They think that they may have hit a nerve trying to get the tube in.  They said that once the swelling goes down I should start to get some feeling back.  Several days later and I still can't feel part of my tongue.  Hopefully the sensation will come back in a few days.  My surgeon also told me that my left leg is now longer than my right.  He said that some people don't really notice it and others need to have a lift put in the other shoe.  It just depends on how much longer it is.  He won't be able to tell until I start walking again.  I had the best nurses and surgeon.  They took such great care of me.  Now I'm back at home starting my recovery.  I won't be able to put any weight on my leg for 6 weeks.  But I am allowed to do certain exercises to strengthen it.  I'm so excited to get started and to get walking again.  I also have the best friends and family anyone could ever ask for!  Thank you!

And your point is??????????????

I've never been one to ask "Why me?".  However I sometimes wonder "Why?".  Is there a point to all of this?  Part of me feels I should be doing something more.  Exactly what I'm not sure.  2 knee replacements, 2 hip replacements, 1 failed hip replacement, an additional hip replacement coming up, 2 bunionectomies on my feet, and the hardest one of them all is surviving aplastic anemia and a bone marrow transplant. I'm so lucky to have had not one but two donor matches.  Most people have a hard time finding just one.  When at work I'm reminded everyday how lucky I am to be alive.  I went back to work a year after my ordeal started and on my first day back a co-worker pulled me aside.  He wanted to tell me how happy he was that I made it through everything.  He then told me that 10 years earlier his brother was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia and needed a bone marrow transplant.  Unfortunately they were unable to find a donor match.  He eventually passed away from it.  Another co-worker's little brother passed away from a cancer after they were unable to find a donor match.  So every time I see them I'm reminded how lucky I am. Then I think, after all this I'm expected to just go back to my life as if nothing happened?  This October will be the 5 year anniversary of my transplant.  Unbelievable!  Sometimes it feels like it was a completely different person that went through it.  I do like to encourage people to donate blood and to register to become a bone marrow donor. Check out these sites:    www.indianablood.org    www.marrow.org   You never know. You just might save someones life.

Pre-op

Today I had all my pre-op testing done and a visit with my doctor.  The visit with the doctor went well.  He went over what was going to happen with the surgery and what to expect afterwards.  I actually got some hopeful news.  If the surgery goes well and he is able to attach my new hip to some solid bone then after 6 weeks he will let me put some weight on my leg.  I'm excited!  It takes 6 weeks for the bone to grow into the prosthesis.  If everything looks sturdy he will gradually let me put weight on my leg after the 6 weeks.  Before it was going to be 3 months before I could put any weight on my leg.  I pray it goes the way he thinks.  It's so easy to take walking for granted.  To be able to walk in the kitchen to grab a drink, let the dog out real quick, even get up to use the bathroom are all things I can't wait to do. I will need to use my walker or crutches for awhile but it will feel so good to start doing some things on my own.  As for the pre-op testing, it went well too.  I had the best nurse taking my blood.  I have the worst veins ever and it usually takes several sticks to find one.  My nurse took her time and was able to slide the needle perfectly into my vein on the first try.  I told her she was hired!  She also did the q-tip swab up my nose.  Unlike the nurse before, she was very gentle and it didn't feel like she was trying to reach my brain.  Now I just have to wait for the results of all the tests and I should be ready to go for my surgery.  I'm pretty anxious about it but I'm looking forward to it at the same time.  I'm actually looking forward to being able to exercise my left leg and make it stronger.  Hopefully my recovery will go a little quicker than 3 months. We might get to change the wedding date back to Oct. 8th but we won't know until after the surgery. I really hope so! Here's the most recent xray of my left non-hip.

JUNE 17th

My nurse called me today and the company said they will have my hip ready by June 13th.  My surgery is scheduled for June 17th.  I asked her if there was a possibility that the surgery could be moved up and she said that there is a slight chance but that she doesn't think it will happen.  They are scheduling my pre-op testing the first week of June so that if it does happen earlier I'll have all of it out of the way.  Now comes big decisions that need to be made.  Continue on with the wedding as planned or postpone it?  I'm terrified of either decision.  If everything goes PERFECTLY with surgery, I will have around 21 days(3 weeks) to start walking again before the wedding.  My vision for my wedding day was me walking down the aisle with no assistance except for my dad.  I wanted to be able to dance and celebrate at my reception with my family and friends.  I know to some people this may seem petty.  Who cares if you can't dance, mingle with family and friends,  or walk down the aisle?  Well to me its important.  I feel I'll be able to walk on my own in that short amount of time but if something goes wrong again it could ruin everything.  At this point, every week counts in my recovery.  Plus we would lose money if we had to postpone probably.  I'm really set on a fall wedding but I'm not sure I want to wait a year.  I do realize I am lucky that technology has come so far and that I'm going to have a chance at walking again.  There are people around me that are going through things that are more serious.  So I do realize it's not the end of my world.  I'm so very lucky but so very stressed.

same old same old

Unfortunately there hasn't been any more news on my hip.  I'm still sitting and waiting.  I've been watching lots of tv, playing ds, and trying to get back into planning the wedding.  I've been getting out of the house every now and then.  Mom takes me to dance class with her and has taken me to the mall a couple times.  Jason rents us movies from redbox.  However I'm still bored.  So bored it almost makes me sick.  After being up in the morning for a couple hours I'm already looking forward to going to bed that evening just to give me something different to do.  I think the boredom bothers me more than the pain of having no hip.  I'm so ready for the next surgery.  Once I have it done at least I'll be able to work towards something.  Once they release me from restrictions I'll be able to exercise my leg and work towards walking again.  I can't wait to go back to work and be around my awesome co-workers.  I'll be able to pick up at a moments notice and go meet friends for dinner and shopping.  I just need to remember all the things I have to look forward to once this is all over with. 

4 more weeks? You've got to be kidding!!



Before my recent surgery

After my recent surgery

I had my 1 month check up with my hip surgeon.  He took some xrays of my left hip just make sure everything looked okay (which it did).  As you can see from the second xray there is no ball or socket joint.  Instead there is just the metal femur replacement that comes out the top of my leg which is from the first replacement. Thankfully they didn't have to replace that part. Unfortunately, that is the main thing that causes my pain.  It stabs me throughout the day every time I move which then causes an ache or throb that lasts for awhile afterwards.  He showed me a model of what is being made for me.  It is a custom made prosthesis that will fit me and me alone.  He is pretty confident that it will work.  He said he is not leaving the operating room until he gets that hip to stay in.  He also told us that it may be another 4 weeks before my surgery which really disappoints me.  That is really pushing it to get well enough before my wedding.  Once I have the surgery, I won't be able to put any weight on my leg for 3 months so that the bone has time to grow into the prosthesis.  If it goes that way, that takes us to September which of course is one month before the wedding.  Can I get myself walking again with no assistance within a month?  Plus try to get back to work?  Finish planning the wedding? I'm not sure.  The doc is going to call De Puy Orthopaedics this week and try to find out a date of when they will be done.  He said he isn't going to wait once it's done.  He will book my surgery ASAP once it's finished.  Maybe it will be done before June.  That's what I'm praying for.  Even a week earlier would give me a bit of a head start. He is supposed to call me this week as soon as he finds out. I'll let everyone know once he does.